The inability to forgive is an inability to heal; it blocks spiritual growth and drains vital energy from our souls. Forgiveness is much easier said than done, but to truly move forward it is essential. To allow anger and resentment to reside in our hearts and minds means we are remaining the victim of those who have wronged us. Forgiveness takes strength and determination.
Here are 15 tips on forgiveness:
1. Life is not always fair, neither are people. Do not expect others to behave or treat people how you would.
2. You have every right to feel angry, hurt, sad, resentful, betrayed etc. Accept, understand and express your feelings. Suppressing your feelings only means they will erupt at another time.
3. Forgiveness does not mean maintaining a relationship with someone who has wronged you, or conceding that their actions are ok. Forgiveness is establishing acceptable boundaries.
4. To forgive others, learn to forgive yourself. Self-forgiveness cleanses the soul, washing away shame and guilt.
5. If you find it hard to forgive your parents for imperfect parenting remember they were shaped by the way they were parented as were their parents and so on.
6. Being forgiving is being resilient enough to recover. Forgiveness heals your pain.
7. By forgiving you are taking back control and taking charge of your life, liberating yourself from a victim-like identity.
8. Forgiveness is possible even in the most hurtful circumstances where the person is someone who doesn’t deserve it and is someone you don’t like, trust or respect.
9. No offense is unforgiveable, unless you make it so. You have the power.
10. Ask yourself whether ‘I can’t forgive.’ really means ‘I won’t forgive.’ and then soften your heart to the process of forgiving.
11. Forgiveness is not easy; you may need to forgive over and over for the same offense. Forgiveness is a lifelong process, it takes time.
12. You have the power to choose between getting bitter or getting better. Take responsibility for your feelings, claim your power.
13. Holding a grudge does not change someone for the better; it changes you for the worse.
14. Forgiveness is something you do for you, not for someone else. Do not risk allowing your life to be shaped by someone else’s actions.
15. The healing power of forgiveness is your choice to make.